Friday, December 14, 2007


OK Ladies, Girls, Women, fellow human persons of the female persuasion, or what ever you prefer to be called or referred to as. Here it is in a nut shell.

I am tired of being the friend. I am not another female, don't like hearing your deepest darkest secrets, don't want to hear how much like a brother I am. It's old. I am now declaring that even though I am a single nice guy it does not mean that I am not looking at you like the hungriest man on earth eyes up a cheese burger. Yep! I'm looking at ya! Anybody got any ketchup?

What has prompted this? Why is Mr Understanding Safety Guy suddenly looking down your shirt? What could be bothering this once Nice man? It happened again and I'm sick of it. I had the occassion to assist a family of friends the other day with some pretty rotten stuff and I heard that phrase from the corner of the room... "What a nice guy." followed by "He's so sweet"

Ok I was not doing any of this for attention, did not intend to "land a honey" for being a decent human being, but Come on! IF I am such a decent man then MAUL ME right then and there. If you are married then be married and don't tell my family that I am a threat to your marraige. And if you are single then walk right up and plant one on me.

For the last few years that I had been in the Navy I was always asked "Why aren't you married?" Many times by single women who worked with or for me (big taboo if I did not answer politcally). Well here's the reason...

I was too nice to leer at you before this. Had too much respect for women to avoid telling them what I really wanted to do with them (instead of talking about how they feel).

MR Understanding Safety Guy is now officially dead! I am going out for a beer and some grub and to Oggle a female bartender until she sweats from the laser beams that shoot from my eyes.

For those of you who may be offended and want to comment about what a schmoe I am becoming, Bring it on. Try being 47, single, in a small town, healthy as a horse and skilled in many things but can't pull a bird with a 15 foot net. Get the picture?????


Janiece Murphy said...

I get the picture, but I'm married.

Good luck on the hunt!

Nathan said...

"I am going out for a beer and some grub and to Oggle a female bartender until she sweats from the laser beams that shoot from my eyes."

Let me know how that works for ya!


Beastly said...

It's not a hunt. I'm just tired of the other crap I mentioned. For what ever reason I keep getting put in the "Friend" category and it's old.

No luck with the bartender she took the night off to do Christmas shopping and the owner (male friend of mine) was behind the bar. I had a brew and split! Man I was hoping at least get my Oggle fix.

Janiece Murphy said...

I do understand, Shawn. I was being facetious. I want you to find someone to care for, and I also know that can be tough.

So good luck finding a romantic interest that fulfills you!

Jim Wright said...

I wondered how much longer "Mr Understanding Safety Guy" was going to hang around. Good luck killing him off (ooooohhh! Get back in the hole!), he's resilient, he is, Mr USG.

Steve Buchheit said...

Just remember there is a fine line between the lingering gaze of an admirer and the piercing stare of a stalker. Just saying.